The Start of a Journey
by monophobian
Summary: KOGKAG. Little moments from the beginning of Kouga and Kagome's life together. - - - Post Canon/Canon Divergent.


_Written for the KogKag Secret Santa 2018 gift exchange for purpledadan on tumblr._

 _I was at a complete loss until my lovely giftee said something about wanting to see their relationship whereas most fics end when they get together and it was like the clouds parting. So I've put together some snippets of their first couple milestones, almost like little keepsakes in their lives._

 _It's a little on the short side (because I can't do long to save my life), around 3700 words, but I really hope you like it! It's a little sappy in parts, sweet in others, and overall just full of the mushy goodness I wanted to give._

 _Merry Christmas!_

* * *

Kagome was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

Her hair fell down her back in long, gorgeous waves, her eyes a clear blue emphasized by the subtle application of makeup, and her _kosode_ was a delicate fall of clothing that showcased her elegant frame. Seeing her for the first time that morning among the villagers, his heart stuttered in his chest. The ceremony meant nothing for him, a human display for a human promise that couldn't hold the depth of youkai meaning, but it meant something to her. Meant something to the woman he loved more than anything else on the earth to bind herself to him in the ways she'd grown up with.

The more human of the wolves were there from all tribes who could make it. They mingled well, the humans putting up a good front in the presence of youkai, though Kouga knew the polite behavior was because of Kagome. Even from the wolves, it was because of Kagome.

Everything was because of Kagome and Kouga wouldn't have it any other way.

It took entirely too long before he had time alone with his bride, the flush of the day showing on her cheeks. Reaching out to stroke his thumb along her jaw, watching her smiling eyes turn up to face him in that ever-present joyous love, little touches from the day all adding up until his heart weighed under the significance of what she gave him.

She _chose_ him. Married him proudly in the human way she was born into, the way she knew, the only request she had when accepting him permanently into her life. Kagome — in that steadfast, caring way of hers — chose him and chose his people, but made it plain for hers first.

"You look so handsome, Kouga," she said softly, one hand reaching up to smooth over the fabric on his shoulders.

He'd felt confined, restricted in an almost torturous way, but every moment of discomfort was worth the look she was giving him now. Smiling, he slid his hand down to the side of her neck. "I'm not always handsome?"

She flushed under the tease, her eyes sparkling in aggravation when they snapped back up to his. "You know what I meant!"

Pulling her close, letting his laughter draw her into his embrace, he pressed a kiss to her temple, her cheek.

"You are the most beautiful thing this earth has ever created," he murmured, voice low to keep others from overhearing, "and I will spend the rest of my life earning the right to be called your husband."

Her breath hitched and he knew, just _knew_ there would be a protest on those pretty lips, a spark in her eye that disagreed with him. But he knew what he said, knew what he meant, and knew that no matter what gracious belief she carried that he was worth _her_ , he wasn't. So he took advantage of her angling her head up to argue and kissed her, a slow, sweet kiss like so many of the ones he stole over the last year courting her. A kiss full of love and life and promise without a care in the world who saw.

Because Kagome was his wife, would soon be his mate, and nothing in the world mattered other than that.

 _i._

The wolves were loud when they returned to the den. Howls rose up in greeting from the wolves on the mountain while people moved around them, touching over her _kosode_ and his _montsuki_ , their expressions of disbelief at Kouga wearing something other than his usual furs. He didn't care.

She greeted everyone with smiles, gracious words that endeared her to so many, and the sun was setting before he finally pulled her away. They would go through the gifts sent with her later when Kagome had settled. It would take a bit for her to be comfortable in the den, that he knew, but Kouga was nothing if not determined to make this her home.

"Kouga," she asked, a tremor running through her voice, "are we staying here tonight?"

A _yes_ almost burst from his mouth before he looked at her, saw the tension starting to line her jaw. Looking around, he tried to see the den through her eyes. Kagome had been here before, but surrounded by fur and people, loud and rambunctious and lively compared to the reserved quiet of the ceremony, he reconsidered.

"Just to settle the pack," he answered. "They wanted to see you."

The relief that flashed on her face confirmed his decision right and he let her be pulled in by the pups while he sought out Ginta. Making arrangements was easy, gathering up Kagome and what they would need easier. It was normal to spend the night with the pack, but the thought of being alone with Kagome sent a thrill through him. After sharing her for so much of the planning, the preparations, and then today, he could see the appeal of stealing her away.

He led her to a small cave further up the mountain, close enough to the den in case of emergency, but far enough to offer the privacy he found himself wanting. Hakkaku and a few of the wolves had hurried to bring up furs and accommodations to make the small area comfortable for the night and Kagome's sigh of appreciation was all he needed to hear.

"Is this okay?" he asked, conscious of what she could have been expecting.

"It's perfect."

Cocking his head, he approached her, gently sliding his arm around her waist. "Kagome?"

When she didn't look at him, he knew he hadn't misheard her tone.

"What it is?"

Her cheeks flared a dusty pink and he waited patiently for her to turn to him. He'd learned over the last year not to push her, not force her to do something she wasn't ready for. She'd get there, always; the woman was utterly fearless.

"I've never done this before," she whispered, finally turning her gaze to his.

Relief swept through him, the tension rising up his back finally easing away. All that worry and frustration and overwhelming amount of nerves at what she was expecting — it was all unnecessary. "Kagome," he said, stepping a little closer, "I haven't either."

She blinked, the most adorable expression of confusion and wonder on her face.

"We'll figure it out," he said again, dropping a kiss on her forehead. "All I need is you."

She laughed, a startled crack of a sound that brought an instant smile to his face. Yes, as long as he had her, they could figure anything out.

 _ii._

"Oh boy."

Hakkaku's tone didn't bode well. Not with the unease growing on the horizon, the weight of the boar on his shoulders, or the storm he could smell on its way. Two days, maybe, and then they'd see some nasty rains.

Looking up, he followed his friend's gaze to the entrance to the den, noting the many wolves lingering around the entrance. Tails shifting and fur bristled, something was going on inside.

"What do you think happened?" Akihiro asked from behind him, carrying a small deer and some herbs. "Think the pups got into trouble again?"

The idea didn't sit right in Kouga's mind. The mothers scolding the pups wouldn't have the adult wolves _that_ skittish.

"Maybe someone bothered Ginta?"

Possible, but— _Oh_. A flash bounced over the rocks. _Great_.

"Matsuko, Hisaki, think you can handle the boar?" Kouga asked, already lifting it off his shoulders. The two stepped in quickly and took the burden, leaving him a clear path up the trail. And it would be him to walk into the mess he guessed he would find, desperate to figure out just what sent his mate's fiery temper off in that brilliant display of blue sparks.

Multiple eyes watched him as he entered, noting the unusual lack of wolves milling around. No one interrupted on his way through the den, up the winding corridor to the secluded space for him and his mate. The blue flashes sparked higher, hotter against his youki, but he didn't fear anything. Even if she pushed enough to sting, she had too much control over her powers to accidentally hurt anyone in the pack. And, as she once said, she loved her family too much to purposefully hurt any of them.

Only the air didn't scent with the spice of her anger as he approached. Unexpected and concerning, he hurried his steps, making that last leap into the room that had grown to be theirs. The dulcet tones that comforted him through many days and nights were also absent, his nose catching the acrid sweep of despair instead.

Kagome laid on their furs, curled into herself as her shoulders shook. He rushed over, even more concerned to see her asleep. Her nightmares could be horrendous though she hadn't succumbed to one since their mating. He couldn't think of what brought one on now.

She jerked awake at his touch, wide eyes stark on her pale face as tears ran in tracts down her cheeks. They tore at his heart, shredding at him until he could do nothing but curl around her.

"Kagome?" he asked, pulling her back into his chest. "Oh, Kagome, it's just a dream, only a dream."

She shook her head, her hair flying over her shoulders as another sob wracked her frame. "They're gone," she rasped, voice hoarse from her tears. "They're gone. I'll never see them again."

Not the monk and the slayer, they were well with their two little girls. Not the kit, he was planning on visiting in a month as soon as the spring's rains start to fade. Not even the mutt, always meeting her in the village when she met with Kaede. "Who's gone?" he asked, at a loss for who else she could speak of.

"Mom."

His stomach dropped.

"Gramps. Sota. Eri, Ayumi, Yuka, even Hojo. I'll never— I—"

Careful of his claws, he stroked his hand through her hair, curled his legs up against hers. Nose in her shoulder, arm solid around her waist, he held her as her sobs turned to silent tears, her silent tears into the bleak stillness of heartache. There was nothing he could say he hadn't said before, that they hadn't already talked about. When she came back through the well last after disappearing for three years, she knew there was a possibility she wouldn't be going back.

But he couldn't find it in his heart to believe she'd be over the loss yet, even if there was a chance she would see them again.

Kouga didn't say anything. Instead he held her, kissed her along the side of her face when he could, moved with her when she shifted in his hold. The food could wait. The pack could handle anything for the rest of the day. They would understand that he could be alpha tomorrow.

Right now, he needed to be a mate.

 _iii._

Nothing he did worked. He tried all the different herbs and spices he could, even going so far as to make the meat as bland as possible. She still didn't want it.

He knew she was hungry, but each time she came down to the fire a grimace crossed over her expression and she looked like she was going to be sick. He wouldn't be surprised after how little she'd been eating over the last few days and how much she was sleeping, but he couldn't scent anything. Nothing about her smelled sick and she was fine otherwise. It was just food and sleep affected and if he didn't figure out something soon, Kouga was going to go crazy.

He _needed_ to take care of his mate. Yes, she could absolutely take care of herself and she could cook her food better than he ever could, but he wanted to do this for her. He wanted to do so much and yet every attempt left him with wasted food and an unhappy mate.

"Kouga, it's okay," she said as she smoothed her palm down his arm. "I don't mind eating rice. We have enough vegetables left that I'll get enough to eat."

"You keep eating like this, you're going to waste away," he growled in response even as he pulled her close. "Boar didn't work, deer smelled terrible, even the rabbit I caught didn't appeal. I'm almost tempted to catch some fish and just—"

"Fish?" Kagome sounded so hopeful, Kouga stopped immediately.

"Do you want to try fish?" he asked, trying desperately not to get his hopes up. It would fit for him to get soaked catching those slippery things for her to run off as soon as he got them over the fire.

"Yeah," she said, her eyes rounding as she looked over the river. "Fish and rice and a few of those roots you found a couple months ago." Turning back, he wondered if she even saw him or the meal she was preparing in her head. "We can cook at the bank. Maybe the breeze will help keep the smells from being too strong."

The idea had merit.

And it worked.

Finally. Kouga _finally_ found a meal she could eat. After so many days of just rice, he felt a gushing relief. He didn't care if he had to dive in the water three times a day for the next month, he would do it to make sure she ate.

"This is really good, Kouga," Kagome said again as she added another fish to her plate. "I feel like I haven't eaten in weeks."

Something dug in the back of his mind, knowing that she was eating far more than normal, but he ignored it. She was _eating_. That's all that mattered.

It wasn't until they were cleaning up that he finally figured out what was bugging him.

And all through a scent. A small, sweet scent that moved over the air when she shifted. Clean like a spring rain woven through the spicy sweetness of Kagome, hidden and protected and smelling just a little like wolf.

"Kagome." He moved to her then, his palm pressing carefully over her stomach. His voice dropped to a murmur, his eyes fixed on his hand. "When was the last time you bled?"

She looked at him, silence stretching between them as her eyes widened before her gaze dropped. Her arm jerked then settled over his palm, fingers squeezing around his as her weight shifted. He caught her against his side, holding her close and when he looked back to her face, tears glistened in her beautiful eyes.

"Am I?" Her question came out on a whisper.

Pressing his nose to the curve of her neck, he breathed in and there it was. That little life forming inside of her, smelling of him and her and something else entirely. Kouga pulled back and nodded, a smile stretching over his lips.

"We're going to have a baby?"

"We're going to have a baby."

One tear fell, a happy one judging from the joy in her scent and the light in her eyes and the smile on her face and then she laughed. A clear, beautiful sound wrapped in the endless love he'd come to know.

 _iv._

She wasn't anywhere near the village and he almost didn't know what to do. They'd _talked_ about this, her habit of wandering off whenever she pleased and not letting anyone know. It didn't matter how much she trusted his sense of smell, his heart still stuttered each time he returned to where Kagome was supposed to be and found her missing.

Kaede smiled, looking toward the forest even though Kouga knew exactly where his errant mate had gone. It wasn't hard to know, but they had already planned to stop by before they left. She didn't have to go off on her own like that.

Gathering up a few of the herbs she left behind — more and more slipped the mind of his pregnant, frustrating mate until he wondered if she'd eventually forget to listen to him — and headed out to the forest. He knew she wasn't at the tree; she only visited there after her dreams of home and family. Said it made her feel closer, secure, and didn't hurt as much as visiting the well. But she hadn't had those dreams in a while, so off to the well he went.

"I wish you could meet him, Mama," he heard her voice on the breeze. "He's so generous, making sure to take care of me in every way he can."

If only she would _let_ him, he thought. It would make his life much easier.

"And he's going to be such a wonderful father," she continued as he walked slowly from the trees. "Protective, but playful. He's great at leading the pack, knows just when to be serious and when to have fun. I can't wait to see him with our children."

 _Pups_ , he silently corrected, a smile growing on his face.

"He says ookami are long lived," the hope in her voice tugged at his heart, "that one day, we might live long enough to see you again. I should know better than to hope, it'll be such a long wait, but I can't help it. I hope he's right. Even if we're old and gray, I want you to meet the man who's given me everything."

She was sitting on the grass, leaning back against the well when he approached, gaze fixed firmly on the horizon. He wasn't fooled, though. Kagome seemed to always know exactly where he was.

"Granted, he drives me absolutely crazy."

Yep, she knew he was there.

"Just yesterday he had a snit because I walked out of the den without him." The laughter in her voice had him grinning even as he remembered the aggravation she caused. "His protective drive has gone haywire since we found out I was pregnant. I don't know if I can take any more of this."

"Then maybe you should do us both a favor and listen to me."

She smiled up at him at his tease, shifting to make room for him on the grass. Settling next to her, he dropped the herbs he brought into the basket between her feet before pulling her into his side.

"If anything, we'll have a little girl who has him wrapped around her finger," Kagome teased in return, "and drives him as crazy as he's driving me."

Kouga laughed, already knowing that whoever their child turned out to be, he would adore. "Or we'll have a boy who runs you ragged with worry the way you've been worrying me."

"Doubt it," she quipped. "Even a boy would keep you on your toes, knowing the trouble he'd pick up from you."

"I don't know what you're talking about," he defended. "I've never caused a single bit of trouble in my life."

Her laughter was exactly what he was going for, the perfect sound to complete a beautiful day. He wanted her laughter, wanted her happy even here, talking to the bittersweet memories she held so close to her heart. It was his own silent promise when she accepted his courting, an oath to make up for all the tears this life had given her by bringing in brilliant laughter, as loud and free and strong as the woman herself.

 _v._

She looked just like her mother. Black hair covered her small head and her lips pouted in that familiar way Kagome's did when she was deep asleep. The arch of her eyebrows was smooth and dainty, her nose a soft sweep that he knew would wrinkle when she was aggravated. Her ears were a little different, brown wolf fur poking up from the curly hair on her head, very reminiscent of the hanyou he knew.

The only thing she inherited from Kouga was the tiny brown tail curled around her hip and he wouldn't have it any other way.

"She's beautiful," his mate murmured, exhaustion threading through her voice. Though it was well earned. A long labor that left him helpless and frustrated — at least until he forced his way into the hut. Births should never happen alone, no matter what the humans kept saying.

"She's going to look just like you," he said, settling on the bed next to her, their daughter curled up tightly in his arms.

"I can't believe she's finally here."

Kouga knew the feeling. Nine months was one hell of a time to wait, especially with a restless mate pacing the den. So much knowledge in her remarkable head and not a single bit of it gave her any peace from her worries. Something about 'modern medicine' and 'hospitals' she kept going on about, ignoring that they had been giving birth like this for centuries.

He learned early it was pointless to argue. Seemed to be one of those many things he wouldn't understand for centuries to come, so he let her rant and rave and tire herself out, then massaged her feet and made her as comfortable as he could.

Maybe this experience would help with the next one.

"Have you decided on a name?" He knew she had a few ideas, going back and forth for either a boy or a girl. During the third and fourth month, she'd thrown name after name at him, then suddenly went silent to the subject altogether.

She looked at their daughter, her face tired but eyes sparkling in love. "What do you think, Kouga?"

His gaze jerked up, surprise evident even as a single name stood above the rest.

"You have one," she answered his unasked question, her eyes knowing. "You've had one for months, but for some reason have held your tongue."

He looked back down at the little girl, the little miracle in his arms. She was so small, so precious, and along with her mother, the most important thing in the world.

"What name did you choose?"

How well his mate knew him. "Mika."

Kagome sighed, leaning into his arm. "Beautiful fragrance." Her head dropped to his shoulder, her body softening against him. "It's perfect."

"I love you," he said then, unable to keep the words inside any longer. "I love you so much, both of you."

Her lips brushed over his jaw. "I think I can speak for both of us when I say that we love you, too."


End file.
